6 (maybe more) Things about England You Don't Want to Learn the Hard Way

A language barrier was not the first thing I expected to encounter. Of course I knew before coming to Oxford that strollers would be called "prams," and car trunks "boots." I knew the metric system would reign supreme and I would have to visit an apothecary to get generic pain killers I had never heard of. But there were a few things I learned, some through experience, some by fair warning, that I never expected.

1. "Khaki pants" sounds like slang for "crappy panties." It's true. "Pants," in England, refers to underwear, and isn't polite to talk about. Instead people reference their "trousers." "Khaki" is very close to a slang word for excrement, again, not very polite. So when in search of business casual clothing, ask for work trousers, or the shopkeeper will think you're announcing a very embarrassing accident. 
2. "Pudding" is a general term for all desert, and does not refer to that light, smooth, sweet chocolately stuff in a plastic cup so many of us love and crave.
3. Europeans think American girls are easy. "Hi, I'm French," was the greeting some of my friends and I received in a pub one Friday night. Okay! I thought, If you buy me a drink I'll let you in my pants so you can make sweet, Frenchy love to me! And then I swooned. Or at least, I think that's what he expected. He and his friends (who smelled, by the way), seemed rather put out when we finished our orders and promptly left for the next pub. Apparently British guys (I'm told) have a similar opinion. They're half right, most American girls would love to listen to a cute foreigner talk to them all day, and probably will if given the chance. But talking may very well the only thing he'll get to do with her. 
4. Apparently fabric softener is "laundry conditioner." Go figure. Personally, I just chuck the clothes in the machine, throw in the detergent, dry, wear, and repeat.
5. You have to pack your own groceries at the store. And some stores will charge you for the plastic bags.
6. The "peace" sign is NOT peaceful. If the back of your hand is facing out, it is the equivalent to the American "flipping of the bird," which technically stands for "F*** you," but is slightly worse, because the extra finger signifies "and one for your mother." Every time I see a tourist flash the "gangster" fingers I cringe a little inside. If you want to indicate two of something, make sure the front of your hand is facing out (or use your thumb).

"Real" classes may not have started yet (I'm still in the integral period), but thus far, Oxford has truly been a learning experience. I'm thankful that most people here have been kind and patient.


PS--Oh! I can't forget about the salad dressing (7). Yeah...they don't have it here. You may get a vinaigrette if you request it when you order. But if they don't have it, well...enjoy your lettuce!:)

PPS--I want to give a shout-out thanks to all the people, British and American, who gave me forewarning, so that I didn't have to discover most of this for myself. Subtle cultural nuances can make a  big difference when you're somewhere new, and it's always great to find people who are willing to help you learn the ropes.